I think it's with finally having the stress of last week over with, that I get time to think. Thinking is both a powerful/dangerous thing, isn't it? Sure, you get inspiration from using your mind, and motivation, but at the same time you can let your thoughts get away from you.
Confused doesn't cover it lately. I guess I'll have to wait til I see each of the people again to see how I truly feel - I always know how I feel about someone just by looking at them. Oddly, even though the thought of it is so alien to me, and worrying, and different, and pointless, I hope I feel something for the right person, and not the wrong one who's made the past few months a constant struggle.
But I absolutely refuse to let this get in the way of the next 2 or 3 months. In about 5 weeks, I'll have finished college, and if I want, I'll never have to see them again. I hope it doesn't come to that but we'll see. It also scares me that I might not see them again either, almost feel pointless building bridges with people you're not going to see again?
It's confusing. I might write a poem. xxx
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